Ora et labora

Yna. Personal blogger, pre-med student and all the things in between.

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It’s past 1:00 am and I’m enlightened by the past.

Right now, I just feel so strong. After being blinded for quite a long time, I can finally see it.

I haven’t felt like this for a while and it’s nice feeling this way. :)

I have a baggage within me. Carrying it like a feather on my back. Loads and loads of feathers. Pilled up in ways and numbers that even me couldn’t penetrate. Standing firm and proud while my insides are pulling apart, the thickest of my strings slowly snapping off. I act strong and stiff. Trying to avoid the inevitable breakdown. The downpour of atrocious emotions. Something I don’t wanna dwell into. A moment I want to skip. A feeling I want to escape. But for once, I just have to let it all out. I have to be broken in order to be freed and fixed. It’s not something I want, but something I need. Problem is, I’ve been hiding for so long I already forgot how it is to live without my masks.

Some days I just wanna feel right. Some days I just wanna feel appreciated. Some days I just wanna disappear. 

P.S. Did you know I was actually smiling in this picture?

New York dreams

New York dreams

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